Yes, I am proud of my family’s service in law enforcement. And yes, Black Lives Matter.

I have been thinking a lot about my family’s service in law enforcement over the last week.

I recognize that a) I am privileged and b) my interaction with police has been infrequent and mostly positive. I grew up in Avon, Connecticut and have lived in Boston and Washington, DC as an adult. I have lived in Washington, DC for ten years. In that time, I have had two major interactions with law enforcement. One time was a robbery, when someone stole my iPhone on March 3, 2012; and when my landlady had a nervous breakdown on September 14, 2015. Even in those cases, the police were professional and treated me in a respectful manner.

My grandfather, the late Sgt. John Zipadelli, died of cancer at 60, before I was born so thus I didn’t know him. My father and relatives have shared with me that he was a well-respected man in the community; serving in the Berlin Police Department and as one of the first constables of the fire department too. He also raised thousands of dollars for the Jimmy Fund. The field at Sage Park was dedicated as “Sgt John Zipadelli Field” on May 21, 1999. He was a good cop with high integrity.

My uncle Bill Magnoli served in Vietnam before serving a long career in the New Britain Police Department. He was a good cop with high integrity too. I will not speak for them as it would be inappropriate, but both were very proud of their service and I’m very proud of them.

In 1957, the International Association of the Chiefs of Police adopted a code of ethics that every police officer is supposed to be aware of and abide by. There are two paragraphs that are worth revisiting, in light of this week’s events.

As a law enforcement officer, my fundamental duty is to serve the community; to safeguard lives and property; to protect the innocent against deception, the weak against oppression or intimidation and the peaceful against violence or disorder; and to respect the constitutional rights of all to liberty, equality, and justice.

I will never act officiously or permit personal feelings, prejudices, political beliefs, aspirations, animosities or friendships to influence my decisions. With no compromise for crime and with relentless prosecution of criminals, I will enforce the law courteously and appropriately without fear or favor, malice or ill will, never employing unnecessary force or violence and never accepting gratuities.

I knew that minorities were shot or “roughed up” growing up; but for a long time I said, well my family wasn’t like that. They were good cops. It has taken me many years to realize that there are bad cops too. And there are unconstitutional violations of rights by those bad cops. The bad cops need to be prosecuted and removed from the force. Just like there are bad journalists, and bad teachers, and bad lawyers and any other profession, the bad cops taint the good cops. And that maybe, acknowledging this wrongdoing is not an indictment of my family’s service.

Here’s something else I’ve been thinking about too. If you’re an officer, can you tell the difference between a good cop, like my family, and a bad cop? Given that the “thin blue line” has a certain reverence for police officers, and given that cops are sent to quell unrest in many areas in the country; can we step back and acknowledge that police policing their own is problematic?

When I saw on TV police officers engaging in the use of tear gas or pepper balls against peaceful protesters in Lafayette Square on June 1, 2020, I have to ask: Did those officers of the Park Police upload that oath? Did they respect the constitutional rights of all to liberty, equality, and justice? No, they did not. Did they employ force unnecessarily against peaceful protestors? Yes, they did. Where were the good cops that knew that what they were doing was wrong?

On the other hand, when I was handing out water and snacks to peaceful protesters on 16th Street NW yesterday, the cops, if they were present at all, just kept the peace and directed people where to go. It was more like a party atmosphere. The restraint they showed gives me hope that we as a community will do better.

Most cops do not live in the communities they serve. In Minneapolis, the Star Tribune which is a respected newspaper did an investigation in 2017. They found that of the 873 police officers serving at the time, 72 — about 8 percent — lived in the city. I have no way of knowing whether the officers charged with George Floyd’s murder lived in the city, or whether that would have made a difference in the events of May 25, 2020. But I do think it makes a difference when officers are regularly in the city — because they can be members of the community and can build relationships with community members. That’s why community based policing is so important. If the city or community is only viewed as an area that the officers “serve in” and then go home to their families, how does that change the viewpoint of the officer? Then the community becomes afraid, and then legitimate crime that should be investigated is not.

One thing we can do as a community — right now — is recognize that Black people and minorities are not a threat. Whether it’s the “superpredator” myth that folks who use drugs are largely African American males in cities; or the fact that politicians don’t want to look “soft on crime” for election campaigns; (see the 1988 Willie Horton ad as an example) or the media talking about crime, and seeing largely African American males accused of crime as a top story; it matters when we police our communities.

George Floyd was accused of passing a counterfeit $20 bill to get groceries for his family. Did that action really require a phone call and the police to get involved? Couldn’t someone had realized that after all, we are still in the middle of the COV-19 pandemic and maybe this was something we could have just let go? Mr. Floyd has a 6-year-old daughter. She will now grow up without a father. Did anyone consider what his absence would do to her life? Or did the shop owner just see a large Black man that he or she didn’t want in their store?

One thing we can do as a community — right now — is recognize that Black people and minorities are not a threat.

Some of my friends who are white get very defensive about changes they need to make in their lives so they are not beneficiaries of an unjust criminal justice system. Why do you dredge up the past, they ask? Why can’t we just move on, and get back to normal? Why? Because we as a community, and especially white people, have to make the change. It starts with the good cops, but it also includes judges, district attorneys, and prosecutors. What crimes are we prosecuting, and who are we prosecuting? It involves active parents, the elimination of cash bail and investment in our communities of color among many other items. All Lives will not matter until Black Lives Matter.

Ahmaud Abrey was jogging before he was shot dead by Travis McMichael who was a retired police detective in Brunswick, GA, in February. It was only this week that he and his son were arraigned on felony murder charges. Breonna Taylor was shot dead because police stormed the wrong apartment; the person they were looking for had already been in custody. Tony McDade, a transgender African American man was shot dead by police in Tallahassee last week. James Scurlock, 21, was killed in Omaha while protesting police brutality. To those families, and those before, I am sorry for your loss.

I pledge to do all I can do be a better ally, and listen to community crying out for justice. I promise not to look away.